Monday, January 31, 2011

Integrity is built over years...

But lost in an instant. -Cameron Strang, Relevant Magazine Jan/Feb 2011

I'm not sure I've ever grasped what true, unconditional love is. People have tried to show me, and I've rejected it.

Until I moved to the mountains, that is.

Here, people expect me to tell them when I'm mad, instead of just pretending that it's okay. And they even still like me afterwards. When they ask a question, they expect to have it answered- honestly.

Its just one of the ways God has been showing me the beauty of life and the world that He's put me in. Where I can do ministry without being terrified because if I crash and burn, I can just get back up and do it again.

Because I wasn't able to go away with hannaHRose and Sarah this weekend, Kans made it her goal to make sure I was semi-happy and to do fun things with me. We lucked out in that it was a beautiful weekend, so we spent it trying to find fun and free things to do that were out of doors.

I've said it before, but I'm just starting to get to know Kans... Which is sad, but awesome at the same time, because it IS finally happening. We've started walking around campus together in the evenings under the guise of "exercise"... It is more of an excuse to get out of the house and talk. Which we did... For almost an hour and a half last night. Then today we packed up picnic lunches and went for a hike... Which ended up being more of a drive, but was an adventure anyway.

It was too sunny for me to be able to see the display on my camera, so I didn't know how my pictures turned out until I got home... But I learned today that I don't have to have a plan or be able to spend money in order to have fun. Roaming around Cashiers was awesome... (A fact that was compounded by the almost 70 degree weather and not getting carsick.)

I had a kind of overly protected childhood... Like, I don't think I've ever climbed a tree or jumped off of a swing. So as I waded across the creek, I could hear my mom's voice in my head, telling me I should turn back because I could slip or a rock could shift... And I ignored it. I realized, I am my own person, and I do not have to relive the stresses that my mother grew up with and raised me with. Stress is not meant to be a daily part of my life, but rather something I pity other people for having.

When I got home, I realized my pics were gorgeous.

God gave us this gorgeous world to live in, and we stay sheltered away in one little section of it, forgetting about all the beauty that exists right outside of our comfort zones.

At church tonight, I was fussing about not having a plan for my life... But the point is not that I'm waiting, but that God is waiting with me. Waiting is never as bad when you have company as it is when you're by yourself. When you have company, it can even be fun.

So, I may be stuck at this bus stop for a while, the train may be late, or the pilot is still snoozing because he got in late last night. But while I'm waiting, I can waltz with God, share a joke with Jesus, or just make a memory with my Savior.

I think it'll be worth it, in the end.